Men's Guide to Women

Note:  You should read Geeks Guide Part 1 & Geeks Guide Part 2 before reading this one.  Note the conversation that I play out in this scenario is just an example of how to reach your objective.  Learn the components of the conversation modifing for your personal style as opposed to the specific words.

Let’s assume Karen said yes and gets up to walk with you to where your buddies are.

Do not wet yourself in all the excitement. Steady boy.

Now that you have her somewhat alone, now would be a fantastic time to say something, say anything to advance your case.

“How about we find a vacant bathroom stall and go at it like Monkeys?”

If she does not slap you for that one, your Momma should when you get home.

Try something like… “OK, Karen, I need to warn you about these guys.  They are not the nicest bunch of guys but we have all been friends for years so you are good as long as you are with me.  OK?  Now you said sense of humor (or whatever) was most important, right?"

“Yes.”

Great.  Let's go tell them like it is. Are you ready?

“I think so.”

"OK, I am depending on you for this one."

When you get back to the table you have to be the master of ceremonies here and not leave poor Karen twisting in the wind wondering why in the hell she dared venture so far away from the yak pack she showed up with. Your wingmen need to follow along or at least be smart enough to know how to work with you on this one.

“Gentlemen, and I use that term loosely for some of you, we were debating what women found most important when sizing up a date. In the spirit of getting an official opinion, since clearly we do not know anything, I went over to that table over there and found the smartest most beautiful woman and asked her to come over here and give us an honest opinion.

This is Karen.”

Or, I might even break out this one, who knows.

“I went over to that table over there and found the smartest most beautiful woman at the table and paid her $20 to come over here and lie her ass off to make us all feel better. Seriously, though, Karen is probably the smartest woman at that table, so Karen please enlighten us with your honest expert opinion.”

Hopefully this is going well, you have had a bit of one on one conversation, and you have paid Karen a nice indirect compliment or two.

If Karen is too hot and knows it, or if she is embarrassed significantly to be at your table or to be thrown in the spotlight in front of a group of guys, the compliments could make her ego swell just enough to make her want to run away. Scaling back the compliments a bit, some small joke, or giving her some moral support might be the ticket. She could very well just have fun with it though. This will depend a lot on the age and general personality of the female in question.

“Karen, now Steve here says it is all about the looks. Dating is based solely on looks. John Q over here, the one who looks like he just took a bite out of a chair or something, says it is all about the romance factor. You would not think so by looking at him, but he says women like to feel special, so a guy with flowers appeals to the romantic in all women. Now Jeff, over here… Now Karen, this is one of the guys we talked about so we will need to keep an eye on him… says that it is all about the sense of humor. I happen to agree with him because I know beautiful women like to laugh.  For example, I met this girl, we had just barely gotten past hello and she just starts laughing uncontrollably. To be honest, I was at least a little bit concerned she was going to pass out. She just could not stop laughing and had to find a place to sit down. I had no idea saying "Hello" could be so funny.  Anyway, I am sure she found me adorable.”

Now that Karen is up to speed, and hopefully finding you at least a little bit funny, we will pick this up on the next post…

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