Men's Guide to Women

Touching a woman the right way is more art than science and that is what this article is about. The finesse is in learning how to touch and where to touch a woman.  Not all women will respond the same way so be prepared to make some adjustments based on her feedback. 

Touching a Woman 101: Teaching the Hands how to Behave.

Note: Some elements of a massage will be covered but the majority of that information will be avoided as it is an entirely different direction in thought and approach.

The hands are capable of delivering and experience she my never want to end or an experience she may wish she never would have begun.  The hands have a critical role in all of this so we need to be sure they are up for the challenge.  The hands have to be right.

1.  Get Your Hands Clean & Ready

Hands need to be clean and soft to the touch.  We do not want your hand to feel like sandpaper on her skin.  Hands that have a rough texture or are dry and cracked for whatever reason need lotion before you begin to build this experience for her.  Depending upon the condition of the hands, it may take two or three applications to get them softened up a bit.  While you wait for the lotion to soak in, take a few minutes to look at your fingernails and make sure they are clean and not so long they are going to draw blood.  This is the pregame warm up so this should be done long before you are ready to focus on her.

To clarify, the lotion is for your hands only.  For our purposes it should not be slathered all over her.  While getting her all slippery may sound like a good idea now, you will regret it when you are kissing or licking her skin.  Lotion tastes anything but good and some brands will make your tongue tingle or feel numb.  That also means that the kissing that could be happening will not happen because she will not want to kiss Mr. Lotion-mouth and get a tingly tongue of her own.

2.  Teach Fingers the Correct Touch

Developing the right touch with your fingers is absolutely critical.  To master the correct touch and technique follow the exercises below.

Lay your hand flat on a table, palm side down. Slowly pick your hand up, letting your fingers fall. Stop when your fingers are barely touching the table.  In some instances just the longer middle two fingers will be all that touches the table.  Thumb location is optional. Every other part of your arm should be off the table and remain that way.

This is the touch you want to use on her, also known as the finger drag.  This technique can be used with your fingernails lightly scratching or with your finger tips gliding across her skin.  Practice dragging your hand across the table top with just the tips of your fingers touching the surface.

Do this exercise long enough you will begin to feel a burn in your upper arm/bicep.  To counter that, you need to know how to use the other side of your hand so you can use some different muscle strands in your arms to maintain the perfect touch.

Put your elbow on the table and lay your arm parallel to your body, palm side up. Pick your hand up until only the last three fingers are touching the table at approximately the last knuckle before the fingernails, this is the knuckle drag.  Your arm probably feels very awkward right now and that is fine.  Once you learn the technique and how the touch should feel you can turn your arm any number of ways to feel more comfortable.  

Practice dragging your hand across the table with just those two or three knuckles barely touching the table. Again, that is the touch you want to use on her.

Now practice the transitions from your knuckles to your finger tips and back again trying to keep the same touch on the table. You want your fingers, finger nails, or knuckles to just barely touch the surface.

It is recommended that you practice with the other hand as well because you may need to give one hand a rest or you may need to work two areas at once. You do not want to wear your arm out or start hopping around with a nasty little hand cramp and blow the moment.

3. Learn the Overall Rule of Rubbing & Combination Rubbing

The Overall Rule of Rubbing states that in a general sense, you should look to rub areas that bend or visibly join other area of the body.  Examples of this would be where the wrist joins the hand, the leg joins the butt, or where the nose joins the forehead.  Paying attention to these areas will almost always bring about welcome relaxation and pleasure.

Combination rubbing is just that, a combination of hands, fingers and thumbs engaged together to target specific corners and crevices of her body. This will make more sense when we cover specific parts and techniques a little later.

4.  Learn to Apply the Right Amount of Pressure

When rubbing her skin, particularly her shoulders and neck area, apply only as much pressure as you would use to hold an orange, palm side down to prevent it from falling to the floor. It is better to be too gentle than to squeeze her to the point that it hurts her and she shuts you down for the night. 

She will let you know how much pressure is right for her by the way her body moves under your touch and the sounds she makes.  If you are still uncertain as to how much pressure to exert, reposition yourself so you can see her face while you rub.  A look of pleasure and/or a state of relaxation is good.  A look of pain or indifference is not a good start. 

Touching a Woman 201: Woman Geography – Where to Touch Her.

Having mastered how you should touch her now you need to know just where she might like to be touched. The first two places you might want to touch her are just about the last two places you should touch her.  Patience, with a little luck and skill you will get there, all you need is your map.  There is a map?

5. Use the Map

Yes there is.  It is a little crude, but it is very handy and always easy to find when you need it. The map you have been blessed with is your own body.  In brief, anywhere on your body the hair has been worn away, rubbed away by friction or otherwise refuses to grow (not counting your noodle or chest) is a good place to touch a woman. The graphic below will show you the majority of the major areas you can ply your new skills before moving to your primary targets.

You are a walking cheat sheet. We will get to some of the parts not addressed in the graphic a bit later.  Now you just need to know where to start.

6. Start With Her Hand

As you begin it is not uncommon for you to want her more than she wants you.  She just  may not be ready to begin the mental journey to get in the right state of mind, she may not be “in the mood,” or she could just be noncommittal about the whole thing.

By touching her gently and in the right way, you want to warm her whole body up with special attention.  For her, mentally, you want this experience to simply and easily help her move her mind from “don’t even think about it” right over the top of her being “in the mood” and right into “she wants you right here, right now, on the kitchen floor.”

To get there you want to focus your attention on every part of her body that is thought of as utilitarian instead of sexy. The way to do that is to make every part of her body that normally gets ignored feel good if not sexy. Make something like an elbow feel sexy and she will wonder what you can do with the rest of her.

If you are having trouble figuring out where her utilitarian parts are, those would be the parts you could compliment in public without getting slapped. 

We are talking about elbows, knees, feet, ankles, shins, arms, wrists, hands, etc.

Start in areas that get a lot of use but very little attention like the palms of her hands, the bottoms of her feet, her toes, her ankles, her elbows and knees.  Typically the safest place to start if you want to avoid any hint of awkwardness is with her hand.

Give her some pampering.  Help her get into a more relaxed state of mind.  Rub some of the stress and low level pain out of her hands and help her find some unexpected pleasure in having these typically ignored body parts cared for.  This could also help make her a little less tentative with you when she understands that you are not going to put her on the defensive immediately by trying to pop her bra clasps in sixty seconds flat.

For this technique you would use combination rubbing, primarily rubbing with your thumbs and your first two fingers. If you just feel compelled to use lotion, restrict it to her hands and feet. If you think her fingers might come back in play, just use the lotion on her feet.

Example areas to work:

Her hands - on the palm side where her fingers attach. Rub the pads at the base of each finger and each one of the segments between the knuckles on all her fingers, and sometime the knuckles themselves (with a small circular motion.)  Go easy on the little finger. Rub the fleshy parts at the base of her hand where it attaches to the wrist.  Rub the middle part of her hand with your thumb and the fleshy part between her thumb and index finger as well.

Her feet - rub the base of her heal/middle of her foot with your thumbs or the palm of your hand if a little more pressure is warranted on the tougher heal tissue.  The middle of the foot, being much softer than the heal, can be rubbed with your thumbs.  If she wears heals all day, pay special attention to the side of her big and little toe and the very tips of her toes as well. They collectively take most of the abuse when stuffed into her pretty but painful shoes.

7.  Work the little places that don't get much attention at all. The less attention a sensitive spot gets the greater the reaction when it finally gets attention.

You may have a personal example of this with a part of your anatomy that gets no attention, no attention, no attention and then gets fantastic over the top attention that can force an unintended reaction if you are not careful.

These areas are best addressed with the combination rubbing and the light finger tickling or dragging you practiced earlier.

Example Areas to Work:

Between the fingers - using your thumb and index finger to rub the sides of each finger in slow circular motions from the base of the finger to the tip.  Do not forget to rub the very tip of each finger under the finger nail as well.

Between the toes - rubbing both sides of each toe just like her fingers.  Rub the pads at the base of each toe and the individual toes, top, bottom and tip.  

Top of her feet – the rubbing feels best right where her foot joins her ankle and rubbing her Achilles' tendon between your thumb and index finger.  Specifically for the top of her foot use a little bit of light pressure and do a finger drag over the top of the foot very softly a few times from ankle to toes or side to side. Too soft can be very ticklish. You want "I like it" tickle not "Stop it or I am going to pee all over myself" tickle.

Wrists, where they meet the hand. Finger drag between the base of the hand and the elbow bend. 

Elbow bend - rub the elbow bend area with your two thumbs working your way down the forearm then going over the same area with a finger drag.  The back of the arm above the elbow is another good place for a good finger drag.

Behind the knees - a light finger drag down her calf and up the back of her thigh stopping mid thigh. No higher. No creeping over into more fertile ground, pun absolutely intended.

Signs Things are Working

If you are doing this right you will see chill bumps pop up from time to time, if she is looking at you like she is waiting for the red light to change, you need more practice.

8. Extend Attention to Every Other Part of Her Body (Except Her Chest & Crotch Area)

Do the light finger and knuckle drag on any of her parts that have not focused on yet with the two obvious exceptions. You can lightly drag your fingernails across the real soft spots like the insides of her arms, her neck, her shoulders, her back, and her inner thighs.

Go easy on that last one, maybe graze the panty line below her belly button a couple of times, maybe accidentally let a finger slide slightly under the waistband of her panties while you are tickling her stomach.

Her head.

If acne, makeup or other issues are present just steer clear of those areas and work on the rest of her head.

Lightly drag your fingers down her forehead and cheeks, careful to avoid the eyes.  Do this enough and she will shut her eyes.  You are stimulated visually, she is stimulated mentally and emotionally, you want her thinking right now, not looking, unless she is ready to take the next step. 

If your touch is too soft she will need to scratch, too hard and you lose the effect, discover her tolerances.  Rub her temples with two fingers on each side. Not too hard, remember the orange analogy.

With your middle finger rub her eyebrows from inside to outside with your middle fingers or thumbs going in small clockwise motions.

Gently rub her chin under her bottom lip. Gentle circular motions, a finger drag from her neck to the base of her chin is nice, too.

Rub the cartilage parts of her ear by rubbing with your thumb behind her ear gently pinching her ear between your thumb and index finger.  Gently move her whole ear in circles. Make sure your thumb pays special attention to the crevice where her ear joins her head.

Rub the tip of her nose gently in small circles or between your thumb and index finger for just a few seconds. Rub the bridge of her nose using your thumb on one side and your index finger on the other, gently pulling the skin toward the crest of the nose, rubbing in circular patterns up to the "T" where her nose joins her forehead.

Move to under her jaw to the sides and back of her neck with knuckle & finger drags.  Typically the back of the neck between the hairline and her shoulder blades will be very sensitive.  She may even shudder if you hit the right spot.

Continue the stroke up and down her neck and wrapping back around to the sides of her neck from time to time.  Slowly extend your strokes down her neck and across the tops of her shoulders and back. Work from the neck to the edges of the shoulders and just above the collar bones.

9. Focus on the Utilitarian Parts of her Until her Anticipation has Peaked

If things happen to be going well and she wants to escalate things a bit, even though it is difficult to say, I would say don’t cave in just yet.  Make her wait a bit.     

Your logic should tell you that if she wants to get the toys out and you want to get the toys out, why not go all Toys R’ Us on each other?

      To show off your new found skills, no reason to blow it now. 

      Do this because it is good to make her squirm a bit.  It is always good to see her doing the happy dance.

      Do this because the built up anticipation can be as memorable if not more memorable than satiating the desire itself.  Just like a child waiting for Christmas.

Keep working her little spots just as long as her anticipation level is building.  Just as you are being careful not to move too early, be extremely careful not to let the anticipation level drain away by moving too late.  Ideally you want to change tactics when you have gone over every inch of her with two obvious exceptions and her anticipation is peaked.

10. Focusing on Her Breasts

Rub her shoulders with your hands and work forward rubbing the muscles below her collar bone but above her boobs in a slow circular motion.

If she has a larger chest, the muscles that connect the underlying tissue to her shoulders can get fatigued trying to hold her girls up all day. Rubbing in this area in a circular motion down to the top of the breasts can feel very nice. Don't get too close though. Good things come to those who wait and whose kids are already in bed asleep, at school or over at a friends house.

Some women have very sensitive breasts; some women carry around two water balloons under their shirt wondering what all the fuss is about. If she has had children and breast fed them her breasts may have very little sensitivity at all.

Boobs are just like gargoyles on the tops of old buildings, they can be impressive and intimidating to look at but most of the time they really serve no purpose. 

11. Get Her Mind Working for You

More than likely you want to touch her breasts more than she wants you to under normal circumstances. If you have handled yourself well to this point the actual sensitivity of her breasts will not matter because she will be past the physical feeling and turned on solely by the IDEA of you touching them.  That is the gold standard you should always try to achieve.

Do not be in an all fired hurry to get her bra off. There is an element of anticipation and arousal that is potentially lost when the bra goes flying. Make sure you have maximized the parts of her breasts that are already exposed before you send that bra swinging from a ceiling fan somewhere.

If and when her bra comes off, odds are she would like you to scratch her back at the bra line at least a little bit, maybe the front between her boobs depending upon where the clasp is.

Do not make giant claws out of each hand and just grabbing for big handfuls of boob. This is not a "buy one get one" sale at Best Buy, Bass Pro Shops or Abercrombie and Fitch, depending upon your bend.

There is an approach to this. Again, more than likely what she is REALLY going to feel is not all that fantastic, you want to keep her mind working for you.

Raise one of her arms over her head, assuming you are somewhat laying down at this point.  You want to get her in a position where you can have access to her side, the side of her breast and the inside of her arm, all very sensitive spots.  Gentle drag your fingers or your finger nails from her waist all the way up her side, up the inside of her arm stopping at her wrist. Maybe graze the side of her breast just a little bit.

If your eyes are about to pop out of your head and you are slobbering a bit at this point, ask her to turn on her side facing away from you so she won't get freaked out by all the drool.

Gently work up and down the side of her body with the fingers, waist to wrist with a little variation thrown in to keep it interesting. You are allowed a few "drive bys" on the sides of her boobs.

Once you have done this a few times, face her and lightly scratch from her chest to the top of her breasts and around the sides, stay away from the pretty pink middle.

If she has a large chest you might rub her chest right under her boobs (again, her chest, not the boob.)  This is another place that does not get much attention because there is a big boob hanging in front of it all the time.

Move to the area between her boobs coming up from her belly preferably, though she may tell you different with the light finger drag. If you want to you can use your middle two fingers to gently rub her chest between her boobs to the top of her cleavage. This is another spot that does not get much love.

Save the light finger drags on the bottom part of her breasts for last, where gravity has her skin stretched the tightest, as it can be one of the most sensitive spots on her breasts.

Now would be a good time to be kissing if you are not already. Present yourself and let her drive. If she attacks you life is good.

Gently work in circles, the outside of the breast by her arm typically being the most sensitive just lightly touching her getting closer to her nipples.

12. Get Her Mind Working for You

 Do not lose sight of the fact that the breasts you have been paying attention to are just a part of the overall woman in the room with you.  Make sure you spend some time building an emotional connection with her not just play with her parts.  You can accomplish this by sporadically holding her hand, looking into her eyes or gently caressing her face with one hand while you tease and tickle her with the other.

Her face should be telling you all you need to know about her state of approval and arousal.

Work right up to the nipple area but skip it and leave that small piece of forbidden fruit for a little bit later to be determined by her state of arousal.

Remember the mouth has not been formally engaged.

Continue to graze the sides of her breasts and gently drag your nails down the middle of her stomach nice and slow and glide around the panty line a bit at her waist and her inner thighs.

I will leave the rest to your imagination.