Men's Guide to Women

Part II - What a "Nice Guy" can learn from an "Asshole"

See Part I of  Nice Guys Learn from an Asshole on "Why Women Date Assholes" to catch the beginning of this interview… This is the second and final part of an interview conducted by Archer Parish with Mr. Hole, a confirmed asshole, sharing his dating advice, throwing a few dating tips to the “nice guys” out there and providing his opinion on why women date asshole guys.

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Archer: OK, we are somewhat off the subject, let me bring us back a bit. I understand women want to date confident men or certainly men with certain emotional qualities, but there are a lot of beautiful women out there dating real jerks, surely there is more to it than that.

Mr. Hole: I know there is. I think it starts in high school, maybe sooner than that. Picture the girls that were 8, 9’s and 10’s. Here is where I think it really begins.

Who were those girls that were 8, 9’s and 10’s in your high school?

Archer: That was a long time ago. Let’s see, they were cheerleaders, they were band geeks, they were in advanced classes, I don’t know, there were a few all over the place.

Mr. Hole: Who did they date?

Archer: They dated football players, or athletes anyway, and more or less the popular guys in school if they were really attractive.

Mr. Hole: Exactly, what about the beautiful girls that were klutzes or acted like dorks?

Archer: If they were pretty enough to override the dork factor they went out with the same types of guys, or at least a guy that excelled in some area or was high on the social ladder, anyway.

Mr. Hole: Exactly. I bet most of those guys were considered a**holes, but they were the only ones with the confidence to go ask the beautiful girls out. If a beautiful girl is only asked out by a bunch of confident a**holes, she is going to date confident a**holes. The same is just as true today.

Archer: Never thought of it that way before. So you are saying women are in relationships with a**holes because they are only asked out by a**holes?

Mr. Hole: What I am saying is that in high school, those guys got confidence from somewhere, maybe it was being the best damn band geek there was, whatever, and they leveraged that success into the confidence they needed to go talk to the pretty girls and get dates.  Confidence got the date, they may or may not have been a**holes.

Once you have a successful date with a beautiful woman in any circle, it is suddenly OK for the other beautiful women in that circle to date you. That was true then and it is true to a lesser degree today.

Archer: OK, OK, so that was high school. I follow your theory there, how does that theory hold up today.

Mr. Hole: Well, I have no complaints. I think it holds up very well. The major difference I see is in how the women think.

Archer: What do you mean?

Mr. Hole: In high school and college to an extent girls were into “group think.” Ask a girl a question and she would not give you a straight answer until the question had been passed around her 3-20 girlfriends to arrive at an answer by committee. Now these women have figured themselves out a little bit, maybe got some of their own self confidence, and are better at doing their own thinking now.

Archer: So all women, or at least the women you are dating are more self-confident, what else is different? What about the women into the whole status thing? The cars, jewelry, nice house, etc.

Mr. Hole: Man, nothing is new about those women except for the plastic boobs. A nice car could bump your game in high school, the same is true today.

Wealth, or at least the appearance of wealth, is a great leveler for the quiet guy that can’t talk to women. The nice car does two things, it does his talking for him and it helps women that are into that sort of thing sort out the rich quiet guys from the broke ones.

Oh, and no, all women are not more self confident. Some are completely insecure and in many cases a total wreck.

Archer: So the quiet guy can use wealth to fill in the gaps between his game and yours, basically. Clear up this confidence thing for me.

Mr. Hole: Some women have the self confidence, or I should say self esteem of a turnip. These women can be fun to date but the wrong one can get real clingy in a relationship or go mental on you. This is THE woman in the habitual mean asshole dater category.

Archer: Are the beautiful women, the 8, 9’s and 10’s, all stuck up and bitchy? That is what “they” say.

Mr. Hole: Where did you get that from? Probably from some ugly bastard too afraid to walk across a room to talk to a beautiful woman because his loser friends convinced him they are all bitchy hags.

Hell no. Women are women. There is no difference in how women act from a 1 to a 10, in general. I have met evil, mean bitchy women that were 1’s, I have met absolute sweethearts that were fiercely competitive, intelligent and in every aspect a 10.

Really, it is simple supply and demand. 9’s and 10’s are in short supply, so they are in general able to command a premium in the dating market. It is up to you to determine if that premium is too high for that particular woman. Sometimes the pain of putting up with her is not worth the benefits she has to offer.

Archer: I have heard women complain that all men are shallow; they just want beautiful stupid women; men don't want or are afraid of the really intelligent women. What do you say to that?

Mr. Hole: It sounds like you have been talking to very intelligent, ugly women that are having a hard time getting a date.

Look at this logically. Why would I date a 5 that is very smart and has a fantastic personality, when I could date a 9 with the exact same qualities? Why would I make that trade off? Simple, I wouldn’t.

Archer: So, you would never date a 5?

Mr. Hole: You can never say never. I am not walking around looking for a number I am looking for women I am attracted to. There would have to be something very compelling about that 5 to make me throw back a 9.

Archer: Is there anything else that you would say to the “Nice Guys” out there?

Mr. Hole: Thanks for staying out of my way. (laughing)

Archer: There is the asshole coming out in you.

Mr. Hole: No, seriously, be nice but do not be a puss. Absolutely do not act like any woman you are trying to date is the only woman on the planet. One of two things will happen and neither one is good. Either she will feel suffocated and “need some space” or break out the “be friends” speech, or she will actually start believing that she is that hot and be absolutely impossible to deal with. Either way you lose and if you create one of those little divas, we all lose.

If you are a mean asshole, the low self esteem women will put up with it for the most part, no matter how many nice guys try to wake her up.

In my life as it relates to women, I make a woman part of my plan; I do not make the woman my plan. If that makes me an asshole, I am good with that.

If she is full of sh*t, tell her she is full of sh*t.

Women feed off of the emotional stuff in a relationship like you feed off a great set of boobs. You are not being a puss by being romantic; you are just feeding the woman her recommended daily allowance of emotional content.

Archer: I like that, recommended daily allowance of vitamin ME. Anything else before we wrap up?

Mr. Hole: One thing. (laughing)

Stop putting women on pedestals; it just makes it easier for them to kick you in the junk.

End.