Men's Guide to Women

This is a stupid thing really, but I had to put it to electronic paper. If this saves you from one argument or the slightest bit of irritation with a female in your life it will be worth it the effort.

As a man, I hate hints. If you want me to do something, just ask me, and I will return the favor when I want something done.

I have discovered most women do not think that way, or something gets lost in translation from their brains to their lips. The majority of the women in my life over the years, when they want me to do something, say “can you” or “could you” as in:

“Can you get the groceries out of the car?” or “Could you pick up dinner on the way home?”

The first answer that always pops in my head is “Yes, I can do that” but that is not what she wants to hear. She wants to hear “Yes, I will do that.”

I have always been just slightly irritated by hearing the question phrased that way, almost like I was being asked if I was competent enough to get the groceries out of the car or if I was capable of remembering to pick up dinner on the way home.

It really is a stupid little thing in the grand scheme so I have always just let it go. Not too terribly long ago I got another one of those questions and I noticed that I felt just a little bit angry over what was a very simple, benign question.

I covered my anger because I thought it was an irrational response to the question “Could you take the trash out?” What could I possibly be getting angry about? It was not like I was doing some great work that needed my full attention. So, I thought about it.

I discovered I was feeling mad because of the way she asked the question. I felt like I was being manipulated into doing something I did not want to do. By saying “yes, I could do it” I was silently being committed to completing the task I had not agreed to do.

I would like the question asked the same way I would ask it. “Will you take out the trash?” or “Would you get the groceries out of the car?” That is a direct question that I can give a direct answer to, and that is the way I like it.

Sounds simple to the point of being stupid, but I find myself more motivated or at least not irritated to do something for my wife when the words Can and Could are replaced with the words Will and Would.

Changing those two little words in how she asks me to do things eliminates the feeling of manipulation and thus makes me more inclined to get off my backside and help out.

If this makes sense to you share it with the women in your life, if I am the lone idiot screaming in the dark on this one, let me know and I will promptly seek therapy and some serious medication.

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