Men's Guide to Women

The US Department of Agriculture calculated the estimated cost of raising a child from birth to 18 and came up with $170,460 for a middle-income dual parent family.  They have no estimates for the value you get in return.

1. Naming rights. First, middle, and last!

2. Glimpses of God every day.

3. Giggles under the covers every night.

4. More love than your heart can hold.

5. Butterfly kisses and Velcro hugs.

6. Endless wonder over rocks, ants, clouds, and warm cookies.

7. A hand to hold, usually covered with jam.

8. A partner for blowing bubbles, flying kites, building sand castles, and skipping down the sidewalk in the pouring rain.

9. Someone to laugh yourself silly with no matter what the boss said or how your stocks performed that day.

10. You get to see a beautiful angelic face sleep every night.

11. You get to finger-paint, carve pumpkins, play hide-and-seek, catch lightning bugs, and never stop believing in Santa Claus.

12. You have an excuse to keep reading Green Eggs and Ham, Peter Rabbit &, Peter Rabbit, watching Saturday morning cartoons, going to kid movies, and wishing on stars.

13. You get to frame rainbows, hearts, and flowers under refrigerator magnets and collect spray painted noodle wreaths for Christmas, hand prints set in clay for Mother's Day, and cards with backward letters for Father's Day.

14. For $170,460, there is no greater bang for your buck.

15. You get to be a hero just for teaching them to whistle, helping them learn to ride a bike, removing a splinter, building a fort, picking them up when they fall, and coaching a baseball team that never wins but always gets treated to ice cream regardless.

16. You get a front row seat to history to witness the first step, first word, first bra, first date, and first time behind the wheel.

17. You get to be immortal.

18. You get another branch added to your family tree, and if you're lucky, a long list of limbs in your obituary called grandchildren.

19. You get an education in psychology, nursing, criminal justice, communications, and human sexuality that no college can match.

20. In the eyes of a child, you rank right up there with God. You have all the power to heal a boo-boo, scare away the monsters under the bed, patch a broken heart, police a slumber party, ground them forever, and love them without limits, so one day they will, like you, love without counting the cost.

Image Courtesy of Linnea Lenkus Fine Art Portraits; Courtesy of Tom Madigan